“A collection of profound and epic album reviews and musical articles by former astronaut and brain surgeon, Alasdair Kennedy. Reaching levels of poetry that rival Keats and Blake, the following reviews affirm Alasdair to be a prodigy, a genius and a god whose opinion is always objectively right. He is also without a doubt the most modest man in the universe.” - Alasdair Kennedy
OMG!!! ROLF HARRIS IS A PAEDIATRICIAN!!! #SHOCK #HORROR
#SHOCK #HORROR I JUST READ IN MY FAVOURITE NEWSPAPER THAT MY
FAVOURITE SINGER MR. ROLF HARRIS IS A PAEDO!!! #NEWSFLASH #BREAKINGNEWS #THESUN
FIRST IT WAS GARY GLITTER! THEN IT WAS THAT DUDE FROM
LOSTPROPHETS! WHO’S NEXT??? JUSTIN BIEBER???
PLZ BIEBS DON'T BECOME A PAEDO!!!
WHY ARE ALL MY FAVOURITE SINGERS BECOMING PAEDOS??? WHY DO
THEY THINK THAT’S A COOL THING TO DO??? STOP TOUCHING KIDS!!!! STAAAAHHP!!!!!!111!!!11
ROLF HARRIS IS THE HARDEST ONE TO BELIEVE! HE SEEMED LIKE
SUCH A NICE GUY! I USED TO WATCH ANIMAL HOSPITAL ALL THE TIME! HE USED TO HELP
ALL THE BABY ANIMALS AND I USED TO THINK HE WAS NICE! BUT HE’S NOT NICE! HE’S A
DIRTY ROTTEN PEADIOTRICIAN!
GUESS WHAT ROLF!!! I’M GOING TO RIP DOWN ALL MY POSTERS OF
YOU AND I’M GOING TO THROW AWAY ALL MY ROLF HARRIS DINNER PLATES AND I’M NEVER
GOING TO LISTEN TO YOUR MUSIC AGAIN AND I’M NEVER GOING TO WATCH ANIMAL
HOSPITAL EITHER!!! OH AND I’M NEVER GOING TO EAT AT KFC AGAIN!!!
YOUR RESTAURANT SUCKS!
I HOPE YOU ROT IN A CELL AND RATS EAT YOUR CORPSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#BRINGBACKCAPITALPUNISHMENT #BRINGBACKTORTURE #BRINGBACKSMOKINGINPUBS
Okay so maybe that’s a little harsh … maybe I don’t hate
you. not in the same way i hate Ian Watkins. not in the same way i hate jimmy Saville. No I’m just very very very
very disappointed in you rolf harris.
Maybe I won’t throw out all my posters and dinner plates. Maybe
I will visit kfc again. You see rolfy I like your music a lot and I don’t want
to have to stop listening to it just because you are a paedo. Just because I like
your music doesn’t mean that I like paedophilia. Okay so maybe I won’t listen
to that song ‘2 little boys’ very often because it’s a bit awkward but I will
keep listening to the rest of your stuff because I think you are a good
It’s a shame that the radio will never play your stuff again.
It’s a shame that the man down the karaoke club will never sing ‘quarter king
caractacus’ ever again. It’s a shame that people can’t still respect you for
your music. oh rolf why did you have to become a paedo. Couldn’t you have taken
up a nicer hobby?