IT’S LIST TIME!!! I’ve already started working on my favourite tracks and favourite albums lists. But before we embrace the best of 2020, let’s remind ourselves of some of the most terrible songs from this terrible year. Compared to my previous lists, this year's annual music horror show is particularly ghastly. In fact, it's so ghastly that 6ix9ine didn’t even make the cut. Proceed at your own risk...
10. ‘Greece’ – DJ Khaled ft. Drake
It was torn between this or ‘Toosie Slide’ for the no. 10 spot (it wasn't a great year for Drake songs). Personally, I think this track just about edges it. Why is Drake trying to sound like The Weeknd? And why is he singing in French on a track called ‘Greece’? The crappy visualizer tops it off.
9. ‘I’m Back’ – Belle Delphine
Belle Delphine is back and now she's a rapper. The result is as fucking dire as you could imagine. In a squeaky faux-Japanese voice, the internet model spits meme references over a stolen 6ix9ine beat. Rap Genius credits all the bars to someone called Senzawa, which suggests she's not even the one rapping. What does she actually contribute to this song? Arguably less than DJ Khaled contributes to 'Greece'.
8. ‘CMFT Must Be Stopped’ – Corey Taylor ft. Tech N9ine & Kid Bookie
The Slipknot frontman is either having a mid-life crisis or trolling everyone with this track. 'Cross a line and you're finding unemployment/ stick around and then I'll challenge your enjoyment' he clunkily raps over corny rock riffs. It's more Corey Feldman than Corey Taylor.
7. ‘Oh Yeah’ – Green Day
‘OH YEEEAH! OH YEEEAH! OH YEEEAH! OH YEEEAH!’. I would say this is the dumbest chorus of the year, but there’s worse to come…
6. ‘Sasuke’ – Lil Uzi Vert
‘She gon’ suck it all like she got no teeth/ she just wanna suck it til her nose bleed’. The lyrics are gross. He’s not even rapping on beat. And what's with the annoying Playboi Carti baby voice? It’s an abomination.
5.‘Lil Pimp Big Maga Steppin’ – Lil Pump
I’m not sure how serious the Florida rapper’s pro-Trump stance is considering that he didn’t even register to vote in 2020. But that still doesn’t excuse the use of lines like ‘fuck a bad bitch, send her back to ISIS’, which has awfully racist connotations given that this is supposed to be a MAGA anthem.
4.‘Yummy’ – Justin Bieber
Hating on Bieber is sooo 2010, but I just couldn’t let this track slide. This dude is now a grown-arse man and here he is singing lines like ‘you’ve got that yummy yum, that yummy yum, that yummy yummy’. If he was 2.5 years old and not 25 years old, then it would be acceptable, and even then I wouldn't want to hear that shit on the radio.
3. ‘Sum Bout U’ – 645AR ft. FKA Twigs
I checked this song out as a Twigs fan, not knowing anything about 645AR. I was not prepared for what was about to come. If those vocals were pitched up any higher, only dogs would be able to hear them. It’s like Alvin and the Chipmunks on helium. I hope to God this doesn’t become a popular vocal style.
2. ‘DDLG’ – ppcocaine
Thought ‘WAP’ was obscene? This song makes 'WAP' sound like a church hymn. The nursery rhyme flow makes the lyrical content all the more disturbing. And then there's her squawking cartoony voice, which is so aggressively delivered it sounds like she's being possessed. THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! It's practically unlistenable.
1.’Yummy’ (Country Remix) – Justin Bieber ft. Florida Georgia Line
The only way Justin Bieber could have possibly made 'Yummy' worse was by releasing a country remix, and – oh look – that’s just what he’s done. Now, we get to hear the awful ‘yummy yum’ hook in a southern drawl accompanied by steel pedal guitar. Maybe if you’re a country fan, it will be an improvement, but I hate country, so this is just hell for me.
What's your least favourite song of 2020? What awful songs did I miss?