A lot of songs have been written about the pandemic. I’ve rounded up some of the best and the worst for your listening pleasure/displeasure.
Thinking of creating a pandemic playlist? You’ve left it a
bit late, mate – this Covid thing is drawing to an end. However, judging from
the pictures of the crowded beaches, Coronavirus Wave 2: Electric Boogaloo may
be around the corner, and then we’ll all be back in lockdown with fuck all to
do. So why not create a pandemic playlist?
Musicians all around the world have been jumping on the
coronavirus anthem bandwagon. The results have been mixed - there have been
some infectious bops and some nauseating flops. Below are some of the best and
worst examples that I’ve come across…
THE BEST:
‘I Wanna Go Outside’ – Snoop Dogg
If any other musician was to create a track about wanting to
go outside it would be dumb, but Snoop can get away with writing a song about practically
anything. The West Coast vocoders and funky beat are so sunshiny that there’s
pretty much no need to go outdoors when listening to this song.
‘Ghen Co Vy’ (Vietnamese Hand Washing Song)’ – MIN X ERIK
Forget ‘Happy Birthday’ - this is the song everyone should
be washing their hands to. Although on the surface it sounds like a dime-a-dozen
Chainsmokers track, the clunkily-translated Vietnamese-to-English lyrics are so
entertaining that they make up for this. The ‘coronaaaa, coronaaaa’ hook is very infectious
and has an R value of 6.9. Stay alert.
‘Spreadin’ (Coronavirus) – Psychs
This 18-year-old UK drill rapper’s coronavirus anthem is
probably the most family-friendly drill track I’ve ever heard. The lyrics are
cleaner than my hands after listening to Ghen Co Vy. It’s contrasted by a bass-heavy
beat that’s so filthy it’s probably infected. The government advises keeping a
two metre distance from your subwoofer at all times while listening to this
track.
‘Covid-666’ – Brujeria
The vocals sound horribly off-rhythm and I don’t speak
Spanish, but I’m digging the thrashy and angry instrumentation in this track ‘Covid-666’
by Mexican-American metal band Brujeria. Coronavirus is brutal subject matter
and deserves to have a metal track dedicated to it. If you choose to mosh to
this track, make sure to follow government guidelines and ensure that it’s a socially-distanced
circle pit.
‘Level of Concern’ – Twenty One Pilots
I didn’t think much of this song the first time I heard it,
but it’s grown on me. It’s less on-the-nose than most of the other coronavirus
anthems, the guitars are ridiculously groovy and the chorus is an earworm. The ‘would
you be my little quarantine’ line is slightly bleurghhh (that’s an adjective now)
but otherwise it’s a certified bop.
THE WORST:
‘Gotta Be Patient’ – Michael Buble, Barenaked Ladies and
Sofia Reyes
It’s not Christmas yet - Buble ought to still be in
hibernation. And yet the pandemic has brought him out early. If that wasn’t
enough of a reason to hate this clawingly cheery cash grab, it also features
The Barenaked Ladies and Sofia Reyes (I actually don’t know who Sofia Reyes is,
so that’s a bit harsh).
‘Quarantine Clean’ - Turbo, Gunna & Young Thug
Hating on mumble rap is such a cliched boomer thing to do,
but can anyone honestly understand these bars? Are they rapping with face masks
on? How is Young Thug the most intelligible one of the bunch? Incomprehensible
lyrics aside, the beat is boring and the delivery isn’t even that playful. At least
throw in some cough ad libs or something…
‘Stuck With U’ – Justin Bieber & Ariana Grande
This soppy poppy duet about being stuck with a partner in
lockdown is utterly soulless. I also hate this recent trend of music videos
featuring random people singing and dancing along on Zoom. It’s like every music
video has turned into a TikTok compilation.
‘Six Feet Apart’ – Luke Combs
I don’t like country music. Is that enough of a reason? It’ll have to do.
‘I Believe That We Will Win’ – Pitbull
This pumped-up fight anthem from Pitbull (yes, he’s still
making music) will make you make you want to go outside and take on coronavirus
with your bare hands. This is not the best way to fight coronavirus – the best
way to fight coronavirus is to stay at home and do nothing. With its 2010-era rock/EDM
production and cliched fight talk lyrics ‘and what don’t kill us make us
stronger’, the whole track just comes across as incredibly corny. Also, the song is apparently a complete rip-off of KB’s ‘I Believe’.